posted Feb 19 2015 4:23PM
I think right now we all need something to distract us from the cold. So I've decided to come up with something to do just that. The problem is, it's cold...real cold. I mean, super cold. I don't know if I can recall it being this cold. You know it's bad when you have people from the barren, desolate northern midwest complaining that it's cold (we have a couple of those here at VerStandig). Personally I don't mind it all that much...I mean, I don't like it, but who does?
Well, check that. I had a friend from Russia. His name was Nikolai and he talked just like Tony Siragusa in the movie 25th Hour. It was pretty cool to listen to him. Anyway, like I said he was from Russia. But not the Russia we know from movies and stuff, like around Moscow. Isn't it weird how when other countries are depicted in the movies, it's always so stereotypical, like if it's France you always see the Eiffel Tower or the Arc D 'triomphe? Or if it's England then you always see Big Ben or the Tower Bridge? Anyway, Nikolai was from some tiny little farm town somewhere in Siberia. And for him winters here were like summers there and summers here were like sitting in a convection oven for you or me. Anything over 50 degrees Farenheit and he was sweating. He used to wear shorts and t-shirts in the middle of winter. I asked him one time what he considered to be cold, and he replied 40 below. I wondered if he meant in Fareinheit or Celsius. Then I checked and realized 40 below is the same on either scale. Either way it's colder than any cold I've ever experienced in my life or ever want to.
So when it gets really cold out, such as right now--I just checked the temperature outside and it's 14 degrees--I simply heave a sigh of relief I don't live in Siberia. Cheers.
posted Feb 6 2015 7:39PM
With Valentine's Day approaching, I thought it might be a good idea to present some ideas for how to make this unique holiday special. First of all, if you happen to find yourself single, don't worry: you've got lots of company. The way I see it, you've got two options: (1) Ignore it. Binge on Netflix and junk food, or (2) treat yourself to whatever you would have bought whomever you would have been with if you had been with someone. And ignore the stares of passing strangers. This tactic has worked well for me in the past (please don't judge me).
If you are in a relationship, married, or dating someone on the reg, there are more options, although most of them are variations on a theme. You could go the earnest but cheesy route. This usually encompasses some kind of date night with gifts etc. Hopefully you know the tastes of your prospective Valentine well enough to be able to make plans they'll like. And I don't mean to sound pessimistic, but for some this can be a make or break proposition. But hey, no pressure!
The silver lining [(c)AJ Silver
] here is that by asking a few simple questions you can make your job a lot easier. The key to this plan is subtlety: you want to basically pick your partner's brain for information without them knowing that's what you're doing. And if you need to do this, the time is now, because time is short. I recommend making random comments about a restaurant/movie/other and gauge their reaction. If he or she reacts with revulsion or abject horror, don't be alarmed, simply press on. In this case perserverence is critical, and can be your best friend.
Whatever you end up doing, remember, it's only one day and once it's over you won't have to worry about it again for another year. And the upside is that if your relationship/marriage/whatever survives you will have gleaned important information that you can file away for use next year. And remember, I'm only telling you these things because I care. Cheers.