posted Mar 28 2013 4:27PM
And now it's time once again for my annual Public Service Announcement about lawn safety. Spring is here, or will be eventually, we're assuming...yeah, jury's still out on that.
Anyway, nice weather means fun in the great outdoors. Often that includes throwing stuff like horseshoes and lawn darts (if you can find them anywhere) as well as other activities including volleyball and badminton, and riding bicycles, etc.
These are all fun and engaging pastimes of course. But the thing I want to stress is this: be safe. As I've written here before, I've been on the give end and the receiving end of horseshoe injuries, and they're no fun. ("Y'see, Doc, we were playing horseshoes, and I just didn't see it. I assure you I'm completely sober...") Don't let this happen to you!
Maybe that's why cornhole has become so popular. It doesn't hurt to get hit with one of those beanbags. food for thought...
posted Mar 26 2013 4:30PM
There are few things I like more than a burger off the grill. Don't get me wrong, I think most burgers are pretty good. But there's something about a burger right off the grill, topped with a slice of pepper jack and some A-1 sauce, that I just can't get enough of. Don't leave me alone with the grill is what I'm saying, because then you'll have to knock me out and take the spatula away.
When I was a kid, my dad made the best burgers. He'd start out with a lump of ground beef about the size of your fist. He'd put it between the bottoms of two plates and then take it out and form it. The end result would inevitably be the perfect shaped burger, thin enough to cook quickly and evenly and big enough around that when it cooked up and shrank a little it fit perfectly into the bun. I tried for years to master the technique but never quite managed. I'd always end up with something that kind of looked like a broken cookie.
Now I skip a step and just get the pre-formed burgers from the supermarket. Lazy? Sure, I'll admit it. But the end result is worth it. The only problem is I don't have a grill. I have to go to someone else's house and use theirs. Gotta work on thatr...
posted Mar 22 2013 4:32PM
The Odd News File
March 22, 2013
And now, the Odd News File, bringing you crowning moments of bizarre from across the globe.
Yesterday I told you about a 56-year-old named BART SIMPSON who was on trial in Warwickshire, England. And his judge's name was MR. BURNS. Bart was facing a weapons charge for bringing his .38-caliber Smith & Wesson revolver into an airport last year. Well . . . the case has been resolved. And Mr. Burns went easy on Bart. Bart initially pleaded not guilty . . . but after he admitted he had the gun in his luggage, Mr. Burns sentenced him to 140 hours of community service and $1,200 in fines and court costs.
On Tuesday, 46-year-old Jennifer Lee and her husband, 68-year-old Benjamin Lee, went out for some beers and wings in New Port Richey, Florida. After dinner, Jennifer thought it would be fun to keep the date night going. They could play some MINI GOLF, then spend the night in a motel. Unfortunately, Benjamin said he wasn't willing to spend the $100 or so that night would cost. So they started arguing in the car, and just as a cop was driving past, Jennifer SLAPPED Benjamin and pulled his hair. The cop pulled them over, and Jennifer was arrested for battery on a person older than 65. Her bail was $250 . . . and since Benjamin OBVIOUSLY wasn't going to pay that, she ended up doing the full night in jail.
We've seen a bunch of stories where people try to pull off "Mission: Impossible"-style heists by breaking into a store through the roof, and lowering themselves down. But . . . um . . . usually they do it when the store is CLOSED. On Wednesday, 47-year-old Paul Masters wanted to rob a department store called Roses, in Lexington, Kentucky. His plan was to break in through the ceiling tiles and lower himself to the floor. And he did that . . . at 1:00 P.M. Right before he dropped down, employees heard him moving around in the ceiling, so they called the cops. The cops came and waited until Paul dropped through, and when he did, they wrestled him to the ground and arrested him for burglary. And the police agreed this was a pretty mediocre idea. Quote, "This is very uncommon for . . . 1:00 in the afternoon. This is typically the type of crime we would see in the early morning hours."
posted Mar 19 2013 4:37PM
The days grow longer, but it's still full dark when I'm done my workday, and believe me, I prefer it that way. I've always been a night person, and I like working late. Getting up in the morning has always been difficult for me, going all the way back to grade school. Many people get over that; I never did.
Why do I prefer the night? Well, for one thing there's less traffic. I hate traffic. I've gone on about that before, but it's still the truth. Also, I do my shopping and other errands at night (when possible). Ever been to a supermarket in the middle of the night? It's great. You might see a half dozen other people. Nobody ramming you with shopping carts or anything. It's truly a transcendent experience.
So if you're a night owl like me, I salute you. If not, well, I still salute you. Thanks for reading.
posted Mar 14 2013 4:39PM
Turn signals...apparently they're a forgotten accessory. But they're so useful, it boggles the mind. For example, when you're driving on the highway, turn signals are the perfect way to let someone know you're planning to change lanes. And of course when you're executing a turn they're the ideal way to let other drivers in your vicinity know that you're turning as opposed to just sitting there in the middle of the road for no good reason.
OK I'm being a little bit sarcastic here, but come on people, doesn't it drive you crazy when you're on the road and nobody around you seems to know what their turn signals are for? It makes me nuts. You know what's nearly as bad? When someone pulls out of a driveway without looking at all to see if there are any other cars coming. That seems to happen to me all the time. I'm there, tooling along, and suddenly a car swings out in front of me, I'm doing 35-40 mph, someone pulls out right in front of me going 5 mph. Net result? I have to slam on my brakes to keep from rear-ending them. Drives me nuts!!
So when you're out and about, do me and everyone else on the road a favor and please use your signals and look for oncoming traffic. Thanks.