The Odd News File
March 22, 2013
And now, the Odd News File, bringing you crowning moments of bizarre from across the globe.
Yesterday I told you about a 56-year-old named BART SIMPSON who was on trial in Warwickshire, England. And his judge's name was MR. BURNS. Bart was facing a weapons charge for bringing his .38-caliber Smith & Wesson revolver into an airport last year. Well . . . the case has been resolved. And Mr. Burns went easy on Bart. Bart initially pleaded not guilty . . . but after he admitted he had the gun in his luggage, Mr. Burns sentenced him to 140 hours of community service and $1,200 in fines and court costs.
On Tuesday, 46-year-old Jennifer Lee and her husband, 68-year-old Benjamin Lee, went out for some beers and wings in New Port Richey, Florida. After dinner, Jennifer thought it would be fun to keep the date night going. They could play some MINI GOLF, then spend the night in a motel. Unfortunately, Benjamin said he wasn't willing to spend the $100 or so that night would cost. So they started arguing in the car, and just as a cop was driving past, Jennifer SLAPPED Benjamin and pulled his hair. The cop pulled them over, and Jennifer was arrested for battery on a person older than 65. Her bail was $250 . . . and since Benjamin OBVIOUSLY wasn't going to pay that, she ended up doing the full night in jail.
We've seen a bunch of stories where people try to pull off "Mission: Impossible"-style heists by breaking into a store through the roof, and lowering themselves down. But . . . um . . . usually they do it when the store is CLOSED. On Wednesday, 47-year-old Paul Masters wanted to rob a department store called Roses, in Lexington, Kentucky. His plan was to break in through the ceiling tiles and lower himself to the floor. And he did that . . . at 1:00 P.M. Right before he dropped down, employees heard him moving around in the ceiling, so they called the cops. The cops came and waited until Paul dropped through, and when he did, they wrestled him to the ground and arrested him for burglary. And the police agreed this was a pretty mediocre idea. Quote, "This is very uncommon for . . . 1:00 in the afternoon. This is typically the type of crime we would see in the early morning hours."