for better and for worse
by Tori Anderson
posted May 16 2013 4:03PM
Anyone that has or knows someone with scleroderma (or any incurable disease for that matter), knows that there are better days and then, there are worse days. Better days are what drive us to take the mountains of pills at all hours of the day and night that nobody knows with any certainty will help us. Those worse days? They make us wonder why we even try. I have been having more of those kinds of days in recent months, and I don’t like it.
It’s no secret that I would love to live in a warmer climate. And by warmer, I mean hot and by the ocean. Problem is (which is a really good problem to have), I’m in love with my family and friends. If I could pack them all up and take them with me, I know exactly where’d I’d be. Exactly, because I’ve been fortunate enough to visit a few times (thanks to some dear friends), and I already know that my mind, my body and my spirit respond exceptionally well to this location. Relaxed, renewed, free of pain and, there’s absolutely no need for long johns during the day. Yeah, it’s the little things… big smile.
But, here’s what I else I know. That, even though I feel amazing when I visit, most of my favorite people are still back east. And those people have my heart. I just can’t not be around them. My love is deep… deeper than the ocean. So, the fight inside of me rages on. I want to feel better, all of us do right? I don’t just want a cure, I need one. Because unless we get a cure, scleroderma will be the death of me. I know that.
I could “rise on up” somewhat more comfortably in warmer weather but, without all of you, I would die of a broken heart.
And that’s just not how my story will end.
Peace, joy, love,
Tori… a merle girl